On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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