It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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