her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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