Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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