careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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