Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize