we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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