forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
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Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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