A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize