why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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