I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So squirting runs in the family.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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