It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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