Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
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Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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