he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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