I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
