i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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