So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize