I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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