Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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