i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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