he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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