ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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