she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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