roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize