this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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