conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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