He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize