i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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