I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
please don't ironically join a cult
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