your thong is hanging out like whoa
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I will be naked everywhere
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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