I think I won the penis lottery.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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