dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize