i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize