Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
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I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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