That's intense
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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