Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize