how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
its not stalking. its research.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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