benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize