I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize