I'm really into asian looking animals
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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