last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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