She said her name was "party"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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