The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize