Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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