at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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