I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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