we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize