He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize