you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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