Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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