I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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